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Healing and Hope

Posted on by DarianHarnish Posted in Pink Perspective
Healing and hope abound at convention.  It’s a safe place to worship, have fun, and feel the spirit, all in one short week.  During high school and college, I remember the power of 5,000 voices singing in the arenas in Charlotte and Columbus, the joy of the amusement park and recreational areas, and seminars that bring people of the church together in hopes of furthering the kingdom.

Pink Menno furthers the kingdom of Christ and more immediately, the Mennonite Church.  I have seen it provide a safe and welcoming place for those who feel uncomfortable with the tenuous conversation and positions about the place of LGBT individuals within the church.

I met my best friend, who I consider a brother, early in college.  He led a hall of young men as Hall Chaplain at a Mennonite college.  After graduation, he came out to me as gay, and as any friend and sibling would, I responded with love, respect, and support.

Pink Menno provided a loving, caring, and peaceful presence at Pittsburgh, which was especially helpful for the focused seminars with the LGBT topic.  On one special night, the circle discussion began and stories were shared.  My brother ended up in the center chair, and it was his turn to talk.  I was sitting a few rows away, and could see the weight lift off his shoulders as he spoke about everything the church had done.  His mother passed away too soon and his home Mennonite church had provided years of support, and the Mennonite college had given him a great education and spiritual connection.  As he finished sharing, emotions poured out.  I sat there crying quietly as well, but a certain pastor in the front row went up to embrace him as he sat down.  I saw her love, as a Mennonite pastor, the same love of a parent, the same love of Jesus, as the most beautiful example of how the Mennonite church can welcome gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals.

Do we all agree?  No.  Do we know what the church will look like in 10 years?  No.  But we do know:  the peace foundation of the Mennonite church and the belief that all members of the church hold spiritual value.  Pink Menno has helped heal a rift, where certain members’ voices were excluded.  We are on the path of reconciliation, and we move forward to complete healing where you and I welcome and love, as straight or gay, furthering the kingdom of Jesus and promoting the mission of the Mennonite church.

~John Badertscher

Four years later and still here

Posted on by DarianHarnish Posted in General, Pink Perspective

It has been nearly four years since I first considered walking away from the Mennonite church. The urge came on a Wednesday night, the June after my high school graduation, sitting in youth group preparing for another MCUSA convention.  It was my sixth national Mennonite convention, each prior one a cherished memory of my childhood.  This time our destination was Columbus, Ohio.

We sat as a youth group, preparing for the upcoming trip, discussing travel itineraries and setting expectations for the week.  After covering many mundane details the Youth Pastor took a deep breath and the demeanor of the room changed.  The room got very serious and the warning he was about to give us, I’m sure, felt very serious to him.  “Leave your pink at home.”  These words, referencing Pink Menno’s initial presence in Columbus, changed my relationship with the Mennonite church forever.

It had been almost six months since I had started self-identifying as gay.  Most of my close friends knew, but only one or two people at church knew.  While Pink Menno would eventually come to be a symbol of hope for me in the Mennonite church, it was a difficult road to my being able to claim my own ‘pinkness.’

I timidly went out a purchased a pink polo for convention so that I could wear it, making my first attempt at standing with the oppressed – standing with my own identity.  I wore it that week in Columbus, but avoided all the other Pink Menno events to the best of my ability.  As the Youth Pastor was also my father, I was afraid to make too public a statement about the inclusion of LGBTQ people in the church.

Columbus was not a hopeful convention.  That week was awful.  I felt like I had no one to talk to about what I was going through.  As convention speaker after convention speaker spoke about the love of God and God’s desire to be in relationship as we are, many in my youth group made it crystal clear that who I am as a gay man was not welcome in their church.  I was ready to walk away from the church.  I saw the church as a place of great pain, exclusion, and hypocrisy.

It wasn’t until a month later, at the Mennonite World Conference that I found a sense of healing and hope in the Mennonite church.  It was MWC that renewed my appreciation for the church community and the work that was happening around the world.  As I shared in worship with global church members, I knew I wasn’t ready to walk away from the church.  MWC reminded me that even though the church sometimes fails to show Christ-like love, for many the church provides a place of sacred community and serves as the hands and feet of Christ around the world.

Now, almost four years later, I am preparing for yet another convention.  Since the convention in Columbus, I have found healing and reconciliation with parts of the church community.  I have found welcome at a small congregation in Harrisonburg, Va.  I have also found my voice as a member of the church.  For much of this, I owe a great deal of thanks to Pink Menno, which has continued to be a source of hope when life has been rough.

There are many days when I want to simply be content with the welcome that I have found for myself, but there has been a continued voice that tells me that there is still work to do.  I really thought I was done with national conventions after Pittsburgh.  Yet here I am, preparing for Phoenix, because I know that there are many who still feel marginalized in their churches.  Like I felt in Columbus, there are those who feel like they have no one to talk to about their identity and that they cannot be accepted for who they are.  Now, four years later, as a part of Pink Menno, I look forward to holding out my hand to make sure that all people find their welcome at the table and find the church to be a place of hope, rather than marginalization.

~Darian Harnish

Why Pink Menno and BMC?

Posted on by DarianHarnish Posted in Pink Perspective

I’ve been involved with Pink Menno since before Columbus in 2009 and before that, I worked for Brethren Mennonite Council for LGBT Interests and I’m now on the organization’s board. BMC has been doing this work for nearly 40 years. Once in awhile a friend will ask me, “why are you still doing this work?” I often have to ask myself the same question. I guess it is that I still care about my broken church and I want to do what I can, while I can still have some hope and faith left that it can be better. I still have that hope and faith despite the setbacks, the ignorant statements, and the hand-wringing leadership, because I can also see that positive change is happening, ploddingly slow at times, but happening. Allies continue to come out and speak out and congregations are standing up for welcome. We know “that the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice” (MLK Jr), but we will not wait for the inevitability of change, we do our work to try to shorten the arc so less young people are harmed in the process. I’d like the Mennonite Church to “get it right” before it’s too late and has completely lost its integrity and credibility.

I bring up integrity and credibility because, more and more, that is what younger generations say they are missing from The Church. We learned Mennonite values growing up in our Mennonite churches. We learned that Mennonites and Anabaptists are exceptional because we stand for nonviolence, peace, justice and hope for the downtrodden. We were taught that the Sermon on the Mount was central to our faith and what set us apart from the “World.” We are then dismayed to find that the Mennonite Church itself and it’s agencies taking part in the violence, discrimination, and marginalization of lgbtq people and our friends and families. We watch as openly queer people are pushed from their families and congregations, as welcoming congregations and pastors are disciplined, as Pink Mennos are publicly shamed by church leaders, and we are troubled. What is more troubling is the deafening silence, ignorance, and lack of interest from those who believe they can be “neutral” while the queer community is stepped on. We feel the pain of that violence in the queer community but we know there is also dire harm to the very soul of the church. For every queer person and our friends and family who are pushed out of the church, there is a wound. We speak out not just for ourselves and queer and questioning youth but to offer an opportunity to the church to heal itself and to regain its moral authority.

We hear our proclaimed church leaders struggling to hold the “Unity” of the church together as they are afraid to be torch bearers for welcome, even when some may agree with our purposes. The LGBTQ community is excluded completely from that supposed “Unity” while others hold it hostage with threats to withdraw their presence or their support. As these church leaders hold onto this Unity tighter and tighter, it seems to slip through their fingers because it is a false unity. True Unity can hold itself together with the bonds of our common faith, care and love for eachother. When we can extend the table to make room for the diverse rainbow of the Mennonite church, we can share in a communion that respects and values our differences and we will find that we hold more in common than we know. Openness and welcome is the beginning of that journey towards Unity, not the end. If church leaders cannot carry the torch because they lead in fear, the least they can do is make room for those of us who will carry the torch.

As Pink Menno, we go to Mennonite conferences to be visible. It is to let lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning youth and their friends see that you can be Mennonite and queer or allied. We go to be seen by the larger Mennonite community so they know we will not go away and can not be silenced. We are the church, even when the church tries to tell us otherwise. Many of us grew up in the Mennonite Church and it made us who we are. The church taught us to pray and act for justice and peace in the world and is quick to support and laud those involved in this work. But when we call for peace and justice within the church, we are scornfully branded as “activists,” “outsiders,” or “advocacy groups” in order to dismiss and discredit us.”

In spite of the challenges, we will continue to call on the church to look to the margins because that is where the church will find Jesus working. The margins where oppressions of classism, racism, sexism, ableism, violence, heterosexism are found, and where the church can find its faith and the credibility it is losing. For the unity and sake of the whole church, including the possibility of a vital future, we invite leaders to join us there.

~Katie Hochstedler

Pax

Posted on by DarianHarnish Posted in General
The MCUSA Conventions have forced me to think about identity. During my teenage years, the MCUSA Conventions played a central role in how I came to understand my identity as a Mennonite in the larger context of the denomination. It was at Convention that I met other young Mennonites from all over the country. It was at Convention that I first started thinking about my upcoming college education. It was at Convention that I was forced to realize just how far the Mennonite Church has to go in practicing what Jesus teaches us.

It was at Convention that I was told I could not be gay and Christian. I’ve engaged in difficult conversations with Mennonite siblings who could not support my membership in the Mennonite Church.

The MCUSA Conventions have forced me to think about identity—to listen to Christ’s calling in my life to build bridges, advocate for the marginalized, and to walk humbly with God. Through the MCUSA Conventions, I have learned that Christ calls us to be active—to actively seek justice in our immediate communities and around the world. For me, this is at the core of my identity as a Mennonite.

In Phoenix, I look forward to singing for those who remain silent and to express my identity as a Mennonite called to actively seek justice and peace.

-Pax Ressler

Pink Mom

Posted on by DarianHarnish Posted in General

I am going to Phoenix 2013, in the heat of mid-summer.

You heard me right. I am a middle aged woman voluntarily going to Phoenix, Arizona in the Middle of Summer. I’m going to be so hot I will be turning pink.But that’s exactly why I am going: I’m going to Phoenix to be Pink.

I am a student at a Mennonite seminary, but I’m not going so I can have theological debates about homosexuality. I oppose church policies that disenfranchise many, including LGBT people and their families.

But I am not going to Phoenix to accuse and alienate those who disagree with me.
No. I am going to Phoenix for one reason: to open my arms. I am going so I can be a Pink Mom.

For what I have discovered is that, unbelievably to me, there are still LGBT young people especially, who have never had a mom, or an aunt, or a dad, or a uncle hug them and say “I love you. You are known and loved by God. Every part of you is precious, exactly as you are.”

There are also young LGBT people who have never heard someone say, “You are so needed in our church. We need your gifts and your talents; how are things going for you? You are known and loved by God and you belong to us. You belong.”

Don’t get me wrong. Please, don’t. Many moms and dads, families and churches love LGBT young people. We all believe in embracing each other as Christ embraces us. But there are often parts left unloved, unaccepted and shamed.

That is why I’m trying to keep it simple. That’s pretty much it. I’m going to Phoenix because I feel called to be there.

So, if you see a middle aged woman crammed into a pink t-shirt don’t be alarmed. I’m not going to Phoenix to be a fashion statement: I’m going to be a Pink Mom. I hope other Moms will join me. You can find me in the Hospitality Room at the Renaissance Hotel. They’re all our kids after all, and they need us.

-Audrey Roth-Kraybill

Strangers and aliens no more

Posted on by DarianHarnish Posted in General, MCUSA, Pink, Take Action

After many planning phone calls and much discernment, the Pink Menno leadership team is excited to announce a theme of: Strangers and aliens no more: one humanity, for the Phoenix 2013 convention.

This theme draws from the Ephesians 2:14-22 being used for the broader MCUSA convention. The New American Standard Bible reads: “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household” (Ephesians 2:19).

Pink Menno recognizes the importance and intersectionality of multiple concerns as we move toward Phoenix, with much of the denomination’s attention on immigration as we are hosted by a city in a state that continues to perpetuate injustices against immigrant communities.

Many are opting to abstain from Phoenix to stand in solidarity with the immigrant communities and we support this decision.  However, at this time, many Pink Mennos feel called to be present, drawing continued attention to the marginalization of voices in the Mennonite church.

While Pink Menno’s focus has and will continue to be the marginalization of LGBTQ voices in the church, the theme of “strangers and aliens no more” aims to underscore the importance of our shared humanity, emphasizing that no one should feel like a stranger or alien in the church.  We believe that this shared humanity includes our immigrant brothers and sisters as well

The Pink Menno site (pinkmenno.org) will be continually updated over the next two months with more details about our time in Phoenix.  As we move toward Phoenix, we renew our commitment to being a “visible, vocal presence supporting, sustaining and furthering genuine dialogue.”  We feel it is our responsibility to draw attention to the marginalized voices of LGBTQ persons in the Mennonite church, persons who have shown resiliency through years of standing in the margins.

At the same time, we renew our call to the MCUSA executive staff, Executive Director Ervin Stutzman, Moderator Dick Thomas, and Moderator-elect Elizabeth Soto Albrecht to build capacity within the church for the inclusion of all voices.

With the MCUSA Convention theme of: Citizens of God’s Kingdom: Healed in Hope, the Vision Statement of Pink Menno seems more relevant than ever.  We stand committed “to achieve healing and hope for the Mennonite Church through the inclusion and welcome of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) individuals and their supporters.”

We recognize the healing that is already taking place, and hope to continue that process in Phoenix!

 

We Will Be Okay: what my youth taught me about the future of the Mennonite Church

Posted on by Annabeth Roeschley Posted in General

I returned from Pittsburgh with, like many convention goers, quite a mixed array of experiences, thoughts, and emotions to process. I was energized; I was exhausted, having had the honor of attending convention as both a high school youth sponsor and a Pink Menno organizer.

I was still more or less in this “post-convention daze” when I showed up at Hyattsville Mennonite Church one week after Pittsburgh for our Convention Reflection Sunday. In hearing and re-hearing the stories of my seven high school students, I was left with a clarifying urge:

We Will Be Okay. We, the Mennonite Church, will be okay.

Here’s why.

It is not that it wasn’t okay — the explosion of pink in Pittsburgh, the steady flow in and out of the Hospitality Room, the sound of pink four-part a capella, the fluid boundaries of our circle encompassing singers who might otherwise not have joined our cause but found harmony, the way the skylights made sun descend on us like heaven while the waters rolled like justice under bridges – it was more than okay; it was something divine.

But what grounds my hope for the future of the church? What makes me recommit in a single Sunday to this treacherous mess of Anabaptism?

It is hearing youth who ask honest questions. Youth who digest convention sermons that preach theology very different from their own and, while they might find it disturbing, come away grateful for a chance to get a taste of the “Mennonite buffet.”  Youth who proudly where pink in true community alongside one who comfortably does not. Youth who love both directing hymns and moshing to Christian punk-rock. These are youth willing to live with[in] difference.

We certainly need the movers, the shakers, the agenda-pushers to keep the church going where it needs to go; some of my youth are these movers, as well. But they are also young people who are grounded in a reality of difference in the church, and they are okay with that. In fact they seem more than okay with that – they articulate what is positive in their experience of difference in the church. The different theology of “the other” – or the one among – is not a threat to their Mennonite church. They call it confusing, curious. They are still in community. They are still talking.

If this doesn’t look like Anabaptism, I don’t know what does.

And if this kind of Anabaptist theology shapes the youth who are and will continue to lead our Mennonite body, we will be okay.

~Annabeth Roeschley, Hyattsville Mennonite Church

Get it while it lasts: “Columbus Vintage”

Posted on by philipkendall Posted in Pink, Take Action

"Pink Laundry" (photo by Tim Nafziger)

Pink Menno all started with the idea of wearing pink in Columbus two years ago.  Since then, we’ve sold 100’s of official Pink Menno t-shirts, bandannas, and bracelets and you’ve found countless other ways to show your pink.  I joked with visitors in the Hospitality Room that one day, the original Pink Menno “Columbus Vintage” T-shirt will be a collector’s item.  (…which reminds me of a hopeful short story by Jeni Heitt Umble “Remembering Pink Mennos: A story from 2029“)

Well time is running out to grab your own piece of history.  For a limited time only (basically until we sell them all) get your own Columbus Vintage Pink Menno shirt from the Pink Gear Store for only $16!

And if you shop the Pink Gear Store now through the end of July, you’ll get 10% off your order of $25 or more when you use the coupon code “pinklove”. We’ve run out of many sizes, but fear not, we will print more soon!

Honestly, the little-kid-who-likes-to-play-store is SO dorkily excited by the fact that I figured out how to make a coupon code.  So I hope someone will indulge me by using it!

available in the Pink Gear Store!

Oh, and by the way, (also, too,) if you haven’t seen or heard about our awesome “Pink Menno Power” design, featuring none other than (pink) Menno Simons himself, please consider raising an eyebrow or two at your next family reunion, church camp week, or regional conference gathering.  It’s fierce and it’s guaranteed to get conversations started.

Pink-Every-Day update: I’m not going to lie.  I went on a Michigan cabin trip this weekend and I did not wear pink every day.  But I’m back to it now that I’m home.  I’m keeping my eye out for a sweet necklace or ring that features some tasteful pink.  If you see something online somewhere, let me know.

-p

Stepping Out of Shame

Posted on by philipkendall Posted in Education, Pink Perspective, Pittsburgh '11

Kirsten Freed shared the following reflection on her experience in Pittsburgh, originally posted on the Coming Out Strong blog. She is currently the volunteer intern with BMC (Brethren Mennonite Council for LGBT Interests) and supports the Kaleidoscope program.

From BMC’s website:
Kaleidoscope is a supportive and resource-sharing network for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender (LGBT), questioning and allied people on peace church campuses, but includes those in high school, young people in general, and those young in spirit. Kaleidoscope provides opportunities to make connections, receive support, and be active in local communities. Faculty, alumni, and supportive individuals are also involved within the church and beyond. Ways Kaleidoscope provides support for students on campuses and young adults include:

  • Establishing educational programs for residence life staff and interested individuals.
  • Keeping the lines of communication open between faculty, staff, students, and alumni.
  • Connecting students, young people and recent alumni via its email listserv, K-Scope.
  • Increasing youth and young adult presence at BMC gatherings and retreats by offering scholarships.

photo by Lisle Bertsche

Kirsten contributed to our work in Pittsburgh by being a supportive and resourceful presence in the Hospitality Room and by leading a number of workshops.  As always, we are grateful for our collaborative relationship with BMC and we recognize that without the foundation of decades of advocacy, education, and peaceful presence, our current experience would be very different.

Thank you Kirsten for sharing this thoughtful post!

 

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“Stepping Out of Shame”

by Kirsten Freed

I wanted to write a reflection about the recent Mennonite Church USA convention in Pittsburgh that highlighted the positive. Indeed, there were deep currents of strength, resilience, and hope, sprinkled with moments of joy, anger, laughter and sadness. I could tell you about the Pink Menno hymn sings where I felt more connected to “my” faith community than I have in years. I could share the experience of attending worship services organized by Open Letter pastors where many shed tears of deep emotion. I could paint a verbal picture of Ruby Lehman proudly sporting a homemade button identifying her as a “Pink Menno Grandmother.” I could describe the big smile on my face when amongst all the roaming groups of colour-coded youth-group-identifying T-shirts, I saw one group who had chosen to put their church name on a pink shirt. I could try to remember and list all of the positive, encouraging, and hopeful interactions I had with other convention attendees. But with all these experiences to choose from, I find myself dwelling on one of two negative encounters – one that tried to use shame to put me in my place.

I am having no trouble putting aside the more obviously aggressive encounter with two middle-aged business-looking men who approached me and my pink-clad buddy to direct us to a change ministry website. Perhaps I dismiss it as ridiculous because it is so overtly offensive.

The encounter I can’t get out of my mind was a very brief exchange I had with a motherly looking woman on the street. Read more ›

statements and Spirit

Posted on by MeganRamer Posted in Pink Perspective, Pittsburgh '11

Pittsburgh 2011 seemed to be a week in which I was called to have difficult conversations with people who have a very restrictive view of sexuality. Though it was exhausting work, I did find moments of respite with good friends along the way, in an effort to stay energized.

We experienced something new this year: the conversation room. Our teaching position on sexuality in the Mennonite church has included a “dialogue” clause for as long as we’ve had one. And yet, dialogue has rarely (if ever) happened in a healthy and constructive way at the denomination’s gatherings. Dialogue DID happen in Pittsburgh thanks to the conversation room.

I was invited to be one of the first speakers the afternoon we discussed “The Church and the Role of Teaching Positions, Dialogue and Discernment.” I am posting my notes for the 4 minutes I prepared. Please be warned: these are NOTES, and not a polished, finished piece…

Read more ›

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